Jokes

  • A man walked into a bar -bar joke

    “A guy walks into a bar and asks the bartender if he will give him a free beer if he shows him something amazing. The bartender agrees, so the guys pulls out a hamster, who begins dancing and singing “”Tuff Enuff”” by the Fabulous Thunderbirds. “”That IS amazing!”” says the bartender and gives the guy […]

  • A man walked into a bar – bar joke

    “There was a bar advertising a contest and a man walked in to find out what the contest was for. The bartender said it is for anyone who could make my horse laugh wins fifty dollars. So the man asked where the horse was the bartender said out back in the barn. The man went […]

  • A man walks into a bar – bar joke

    “A man walks into a bar for the first time, and he’s sitting around drinking. Some of the old timers are telling jokes. One of them says “”Seventeen”” and the other old timers all roar with laughter. A little later, another of ‘em says “”Thirty-Two”” and again, they all laugh and holler. Well, the new […]

  • Strongest bartender- bar joke

    “Strongest bartender- bar joke The local bar was so sure that its bartender was the strongest man around that they offered a standing $1000 bet. The bartender would squeeze a lemon until all the juice ran into a glass, and hand the lemon to a patron. Anyone who could squeeze one more drop of juice […]

  • A duck walks into bar – bar joke

    “A duck walks into bar, Duck: got any bread? Bartender: no Duck: got any bread? Bartender: no… Duck: got any bread? Bartender: NO Duck: got any bread? Bartender: NOOOOO!!!!! Duck: got any bread? Bartender: If you ask that one more time I’m going to nail your bill to the counter. Duck: got any nails? Bartender: […]

  • A guy walks into a bar – bar joke

    “A guy walks into a bar and notices there’s a bunch of meat hanging from the ceiling. the guy says ” hey bartender, I’ll bet you a $100 bucks I can jump up and grab some meat from that ceiling”. The bartender says, “I don’t know man, them steaks are pretty high”.”

  • A guy walks into a bar – bar joke

    “A guy walks into a bar and asks for a glass of beer, and the bartender says, “”That’ll be four cents, please.”” The guy nearly spits out his beer. “”Four cents?!”” he says in amazement. “”How much for a plate of fish and chips with extra mashed potatoes and gravy and a side order of […]

  • A ducks walks into a bar – bar joke

    “A ducks walks into a bar and asks, “Got any grapes?” The bartender, confused, tells the ducks that no, his bar doesn’t serve grapes. The duck thanks him and leaves. The next day, the duck returns and says, “Got any grapes?” Again, the bartender tells him that, no, the bar does not serve grapes, has […]

  • A man walks into a bar – bar joke

    “12 Year Old Scotch A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender for twelve-year-old scotch. The bartender thinks “”This guy is pretty pretentious”” and proceeds to pour him a drink of six-year-old scotch. He gives it to the customer who takes a drink, exclaiming, “”This isn’t twelve-year-old scotch, this is six-year-old scotch”” The […]

  • A guy runs into a bar – bar joke

    “A guy runs into a bar and he asks the bartender for 24 shots of his finest whisky. When the bartender has poured the shots the guy drinks them down as fast as possible. The bartender says “wow I’ve never seen anyone drink that fast before” and the guy says “You would to if you […]

  • A woman walks into a bar -bar joke

    “A woman walks into a bar and the bartender says “Hey where’d you get the pig?” The women says “This isn’t a pig it’s a duck” and the bartender says “ I was talking to the duck!” ”

  • The Forgetful Bartender joke

    “Forgetful Bartender joke A man walks into a bar and has a couple of beers. Once he is done the bartender tells him he owes $9.00. “”But I paid, don’t you remember?”” says the customer. “”Okay,”” says the bartender, “”If you say you paid, you did.”” The man then goes outside and tells the first […]