Food & Drink

  • Delicacy

    “An American touring Spain stopped at a local restaurant following a day of sightseeing. While sipping his sangria, he noticed a sizzling, scrumptious looking platter being served at the next table. Not only did it look good, the smell was wonderful. He asked the waiter, “”What is that you just served?”” The waiter replied, “” […]

  • Ways To Order A Pizza

    ” 99 ZANY WAYS TO PHONE IN A PIZZA ORDER ————————————————————————— 1. If using a touch-tone, press random numbers while ordering. Ask the person taking the order to stop doing that. 2. Make up a charge-card name. Ask if they accept it. 3. Use CB lingo where applicable. 4. Order a Big Mac Extra Value […]

  • Toast Please!

    ” DON’T FORGET An 80-year-old couple was having problems remembering things, so they decided to go to their doctor to get checked out to make sure nothing was wrong with them. When they arrived at the doctor’s, they explained to the doctor about the problems they were having with their memory. After checking the couple […]

  • Doughboy’s Second Obituary

    ” Pillsbury Doughboy Obituary Veteran Pillsbury spokesman Pop N. Fresh died yesterday of a severe yeast infection. He was 71. Known to friends as Brown-n-Serve, Fresh was an avid gardener and tennis player. Fresh was buried in one of the largest funeral ceremonies in recent years. Dozens of celebrities turned out including Mrs. Butterworth, the […]

  • Pillsbury Doughboy’s Death Obit

    “Obit for the Pillsbury Doughboy… Veteran Pillsbury spokesman, Pop N. Fresh died Monday of a yeast infection. He was 31. Fresh was buried Thursday in one of the biggest funerals in years. Dozens of celebrities attended, including Betty Crocker, Mrs Butterworth, the Keebler elves, Mary Callendar, Hungry Jack and the Quaker Man. The graveside was […]

  • Neiman Marcus Urban Myth

    “AMERICAN FOLKLORE My daughter & I had just finished a salad at Neiman-Marcus Cafe in Dallas & decided to have a small dessert. Because both of us are such cookie lovers, we decided to try the “”Neiman-Marcus Cookie””. It was so excellent that I asked if they would give me the recipe and the waitress […]

  • Bake A Fruit Cake

    “Here’s a “”fruitcake”” recipe that you really should try. FRUIT CAKE RECIPE 1 Cup of Water 1 Cup of Sugar 4 Large Eggs 2 Cups of Dried Fruit 1 Teaspoon of Baking Soda 1 Teaspoon of Salt 1 Cup of Brown Sugar Lemon Juice Nuts 1 Bottle of Whiskey (High Quality) Sample the whiskey to […]

  • Newer Diet

    “++++++ ~~~ Low-Stress Diet Plan ~~~ The reason most diets fail is that the dieter has no “”release”” from their strict routine, and as a result will cheat and actually gain weight! This causes imeasurable stress to their physical and em”

  • Coffee In Excess

    ” Waiter: Tea or coffee, gentlemen? 1st customer: I’ll have tea. 2nd customer: Me, too. And be sure the glass is clean! (Waiter exits, returns) Waiter: Two teas. Which one asked for the clean glass? ~~~ Waiter, this coffee tastes like mud! Of course, sir, it was ground only a few minutes ago… YOU KNOW […]

  • Candy Bar Puns

    ” cute!*LOL* The Birth of a Candybar It was another Payday and I was tired of Mr. Goodbar. I saw Miss Hershey standing behind the Powerhouse on the corner of Clark and Fifth Avenue when I whipped out my Whopper and whispered, “”hey Sweetheart, how’d you like to Crunch on my big Million Dollar Bar?”” […]

  • Chili Cook Off Contest

    ” Chili cook off Recently I was honored to be selected as an Outstanding Famous Celebrity in Texas, to be a judge at a chili cook-off because no one else wanted to do it. Also the original person called in sick at the last moment and I happened to be standing there at the judge’s […]

  • Bullfight Victory Meal

    ” A man and his wife are visiting Mexico and go to the local restaurant for dinner. They can’t seen to decide on what to have so they spend a lot of time looking over the menu. While they are looking, they hear a trumpet fanfare, and out of the kitchen comes the cook with […]