Death From Guinness

” Never put off until tomorrow what you can avoid altogether.

Brenda O’Malley is home making dinner, as usual, when Tim
Finnegan arrives at her door. “”Brenda, may I come in?”” he
asks. “”I’ve somethin’ to tell ya.””

“”Of course you can come in, you’re always welcome, Tim. But
where’s my husband?””

“”That’s what I’m here to be tellin’ ya, Brenda. There was
an accident down at the Guiness brewery…””

“”Oh, God no!”” cries Brenda. “”Please don’t tell me…””

“”I must, Brenda. Your husband Shamus is dead and gone. I’m

Finally, she looked up at Tim. “”How did it happen, Tim?””

“”It was terrible, Brenda. He fell into a vat of Guiness
Stout and drowned.””

Oh my dear Jesus! But you must tell me true, Tim. Did he
at least go quickly?””

“”Well, no Brenda… no.””


“”Fact is, he got out three times to pee.””


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