“Two guys walk into a bar and sit down at a table. The
barkeep comes over to them and asks,””What can I serve
you gentlemen?””
One of them says to the barkeep, “”I’ll bet you a pitcher
of you finest beer that I can lick my eye.””
The barkeep says, “”I’ve had guys come in here that could
lick their nose but never have I ever seen
one that could lick his eye. I’ll take that bet.””
So the guy reaches up, pulls out his glass eye, licks it,
and puts it back in his eye socket. The barkeep says, “”Damn,
you got me.”” He brings the guys a pitcher of beer and goes
about tending the bar.
When that pitcher starts to get low the barkeep comes back
and asks, “”Are you gentlemen ready for another?”” The same
guy answers, “”I’ll bet you another pitcher of your finest
beer that I can bite my ear.”” The barkeep hesitates for a
moment and looks at the guy’s left ear, his right ear, and
says, “”There’s no way you’ve got an artificial ear. I’ll
take that bet.””
The guy reaches up, pulls out his false teeth, bites his ear
with them, and puts them back in his mouth. The barkeep says,
“”Damn, you got me again.”” He brings the guys another pitcher
of beer and goes about tending the bar.
A little later the betting guy is drunk, gets up and staggers
over to the bar and lays a $100 bill on the bar saying, “”I’ll
bet you a hundred that I can pee and fill 10 shot glasses
lined up on the bar with their rims touching without spilling
a drop on the bar from 3 feet away.”” The barkeep says, “”It’ll
be worth $100 to see that so I bet you can’t do it.”” He puts
his own $100 on the bar, lines up 10 shot glasses and steps
back.
The drunk whips it out and pees all over the shot glasses,
the bar, and the floor. The barkeep picks up the two $100
bills, gets out his towel and starts to wipe it up. He then
notices the drunk is smiling and says, “”I just made $100 so
I’m smiling, you just lost $100, why are you smiling?””
The drunk says, you see they guy over there I’ve been
drinking with all this time? I just bet him $1,000 that I
could come over here, pee all over the bar, and that you’d
wipe it up with a smile on your face.
”
