Designated Decoy

A police patrol car routinely parked outside a local neighborhood tavern. Late in the evening the officer noticed a man leaving the bar so intoxicated that he could barely walk. The man stumbled around the parking lot for a few minutes, with the officer quietly observing.

After what seemed an eternity and trying his keys on five different vehicles, the man managed to find his car, which he fell into. He was there for a few minutes as a number of other patrons left the bar and drove off.

Finally he started the car, switched the wipers on and off (it was a fine dry night), flicked the blinkers on, then off, honked the horn and then switched on the lights. He moved the vehicle forward a few inches, reversed a little and then remained still for a few more minutes as some more vehicles left.

At last, being the last car out of the parking lot, he pulled out and started to drive slowly down the road. The police officer, having patiently waited all this time, now put the patrol car in gear, put on the flashing lights, promptly pulled the man over and carried out a breathalyzer test.

To his amazement the breathalyzer indicated no evidence of the man having consumed alcohol at all! Dumbfounded, the officer said, “”I’ll have to ask you to accompany me back to the police station. This equipment must be broken.””

“”I doubt it,”” said the man. “”Tonight I’m the designated decoy.””


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