Charles Dickens walks into a bar- bar joke
Charles Dickens walks into a bar and orders a martini. The bartender asks, “Olive or twist?”
Jokes
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A leprechaun walks into a bar – bar joke
“A leprechaun walks into a bar. The bartender serves him and says, “”That’ll be $2.50.”” The leprechaun puts two dollar bills on the bar and starts walking away. The barkeep shouts, “”hey, You’re a little short!”” ”
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An old lady walks into a bar – bar joke
“An old lady walks into a bar with a duck under her arm. A scraggly old drunk staggers over, takes one look, and says, “”Jeeeez, that’s the UGLIEST thing I ever saw!”” The woman turns her nose up at him and says, “”This happens to be a fine looking stately creature! Go away, you horrid […]
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A peice of rope walks into a bar- bar joke
“A piece of rope walks into a bar and the bartender says, “”We don’t serve your kind.”” The rope goes outside, ties himself in a knot and frays one end of himself. He walks back into the bar and the bartender says, “”Weren’t you just in here?”” The rope replies, “”Nope, I’m a frayed knot.”” […]
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A drunk staggers out of a ba- bar joke
“A drunk staggers out of a bar and runs right into two priests. He says, “”I’m Jesus Christ.”” The first priest says, “”No, son, you’re not.”” So the drunk says it to the second priest. The second priest says, “”No, son, you’re not.”” The drunk says, “”Look, I can prove it.”” He walks back into […]
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Shakespeare walks into a bar – bar joke
“Shakespeare walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a beer. “”I can’t serve you.”” says the bartender. “”You’re Bard!”” ”
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A cowboy walks into a bar – bar joke
“A cowboy walks into a bar. Upon leaving, he realizes that someone has painted his horse. The cowboy yells, “”Which one of you Idiots painted my horse?”” A seven foot tall mean looking guy says, “”I did.”” The cowboy realizes he is in trouble and replies, “”Why, thank you – the first coat’s dry!”” ”
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A Crow walks into a bar – bar joke
“A crow walks into a bar wearing a pearl necklace. He orders a drink from the bartender. The bartender says “”I’ve never seen a crow wearing a pearl necklace before””. The crow says, “”What do you expect me to wear with basic black?”” ”
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An Irishman walks out of a bar….
“An Irishman walks out of a bar…. Hey, it COULD happen”
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A guy walks into a bar – bar joke
“A fellow walks into a pub near Buckingham Palace in London, sits down, and says, “”Give me a beer. I’ve had a rough day at work.”” the bartender says, “”Oh? What do you do?”” The guy says, “”I take care of the corgis–you know, the dogs the royal family owns.”” The bartender asks, “”Tough job, […]
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A man walks into a bar – bar joke
“A man goes into a bar and says, “”Give me a drink before the trouble starts.”” And the bartender pours him a drink. He drinks it and says, “”Give me another drink before the trouble starts.”” He downs that one and says,”” Quick, give me another drink before the trouble starts.”” Finally, the bartender asks, […]
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A man walks into a bar – bar joke
“A Northerner walks into a bar in the Deep South around Christmas time. A small nativity scene is behind the bar, and the guy says, “”That’s a nice nativity scene. But how come the three wise men are all wearing firemen’s hats?”” And the bartender says, “”Well, it says right there in the Bible–the three […]