Candy Bar Puns


cute!*LOL* The Birth of a Candybar It was another Payday and I was tired of Mr. Goodbar.
I saw Miss Hershey standing behind the Powerhouse on the corner of Clark and Fifth Avenue
when I whipped out my Whopper and whispered, “”hey Sweetheart, how’d you like to Crunch
on my big Million Dollar Bar?”” Well, she immediately went down on my Tootsie Roll, and it
was pure Almond Joy! I couldn’t help but grab her delicious Mounds because it was easy to
see that this little Twix had the Red Hots for me. It was all I could do to hold the Snickers and
Crackle as my Butterfinger went up her tight little Kit Kat and she started to scream. “”Oh
Henry!”” Soon she was fondling my Peter Pan and ZagNut and I knew it wouldn’t be long
before I blew my Milk Duds clear to Mars and that gave her a taste of the old Milky Way.
She asked me if I was into M&M, but I said, “”hey Chicklet, no kinky stuff””. I said “”Look you
little Reese’s Pieces, don’t be a Zero, be a Lifesaver. Why don’t you take my Whatchamacallit
and slip it up your Ho-Ho and i’ll give you a Bit ‘O’ Honey?”” (What a piece of Juicy Fruit she
was, too!) she screamed, “”Oh your Crackerjack tastes better than the Three Musketeers!”” as
I rammed my Ding Dong up her Rocky Road and into her Peanut Butter Cup. Well, I was
giving it to her Good ‘N’ Plenty, when all the sudden…my Starbust! Yeah, as luck would have
it, she started to grow Chunky and complained of a Wrigley in her stomach. Sure enough, nine
months later, out popped…Baby Ruth!

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